Week 3: Stop

Greetings from an absent blogger! 

Can I just tell you that my time in California has been unlike I expected and yet somewhat how I anticipated? I knew it would be difficult at times, yet I didn't realize how it would manifest itself. Apparently, it has meant silence and shutting out the extras. The first part of my time here has been spent getting acclimated to a new normal. And so I closed out the extras... which I suppose was actually a healthy approach because it meant I was taking care of myself rather than doing what I "should".

My time was spent reading, resting, talking with the girls via Google Hangout (the greatest invention ever), working, and occasional exploring. I thought I'd keep my schedule jam-packed with action, but instead my life simplified.  While at times that made me feel like I wasn't living up to the opportunity, looking back I can now realize that allowing myself that room to just be meant that I avoided self-destructive coping mechanisms. I haven't been eating myself silly or shopping excessively (which have been past responses).

I think part of what has allowed me the freedom to rest was week 3 of The 7th Year. I think I've mentioned this before, but it has come to my attention that 2012 is my 7th year... the 7th year following my return to Springfield after a difficult, lonely year in Kansas. I enjoyed things about my time in Kansas, but as a whole it was an incredibly difficult time full of loneliness and separation. When I returned to Springfield I was spiritually ready for what the Lord would do over the next few years. So that makes Kansas a worthwhile time because it put me in a position spiritually to be open and humbled before God. The time following was spent with God pouring love into me through the Bowman family and Sesha and Stalena. Those years in homes filled with love were a soothing balm to my lonely heart. It was also a time when I began going to counseling. I went because I could tell my thinking was skewed and over the course of time found the root of so much pain, began the healing process, and am now able to live in the truth. And now I find myself alone again in California... in the 7th year since Kansas. You can imagine the concerns I had about such a decision when my last reference point was Kansas.

But I'm not the same person I was 7 years ago. I can see evidence of that in how my time here is going. I was nervous that I was spending too much time in my apartment, but when I analyze it I am able to see the differences. Week 3's study talks about the 7th year being a year where the Promised Land was rested.

This was the question that came to mind: What does a Sabbath to the Lord mean? What does it look like? As a single woman I cannot stop working for a year because I solely rely on myself to pay the bills. As a nurse I have to work some Sundays because people don't stop being sick just because it's Sunday. So what if my Sabbath means removing some of the distractions from my life? What if it means taking me back to a place where I can be surrounded by quiet and will have to rely on the Lord to guide me through a season of unknowns? My 7th year has brought me physically to a place where I can simply stop.

Stop trying.
Stop controlling.
Stop fighting.
Stop worrying.
Just stop.
Stop & rediscover the substance of God's Word.