This is real life.

Sometimes the reality of what I'm doing strikes me... and it usually catches me off-guard.

 You guys, it is so surreal to me that I am living life in California. Like, for real. Me, Amy, the girl from small town Missouri that used to read and daydream about somewhere else. When I say I used to daydream let me emphasize that I did it A LOT. I was also imagining, wondering, thinking about an exciting life somewhere unknown. In my daydreams I'd think about places like California and New York. They just seemed much more glamorous than good ol' MO.

But then I moved to Springfield, found my place in life, discovered a great collection of friends, a career that makes me immensely happy, and I was more than content to be in MO. It felt peaceful and natural and with the exception of desiring to take more vacations, I was happy with my little place in life.

Then I decided to be a travel nurse and moved to California.

To the place where I once dreamed about....

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON??!!

I can't believe I'm here and, yet, it feels so normal. Not the same normal as Springfield, but a new kind of normal.

And I've started to think... to wonder about what this all means. And I'm realizing that I really have no clue where my life will take me. Maybe I will settle here eventually after all. Maybe travel nursing was just a vehicle to get me to the next phase of life. Or perhaps my initial plan will remain intact and I'll be back in MO in a couple years.

I honestly have no idea. I have no clue what's going to happen. It's exciting and scary, all at the same time.

 It's also making me think about how I'm currently approaching life, which is with the idea that everything is temporary. I think I'm doing that partly because it's been true, but also as a coping mechanism. I mean, when a person completely shakes up their life it makes sense to have to keep yourself from freaking out at the idea that you may have possibly left your entire life as you've know it behind... permanently. Because let's face it, even if I do return to Springfield in a few years, the life I left behind will no longer be. Time will not have stopped. People will be in different stages of life, the NICU will have changed and evolved, my church small group will have new faces, and my sisters may not even be living there any longer. My old life is Springfield is over. But that's life.... it keeps moving forward.

Okay, here's the initial point of this whole rambling mess: I, Amy from a hometown of 1800 people that used to dream about life outside of Missouri, am actually living that life. I am legitimately living a super cool life in California. (Well, super cool being relative, I suppose. I guess not everyone would think not partaking in Hollywood's hoopla is cool, but that's neither here nor there.) I'm actually doing the things I dreamed about doing, but I never expected to become reality.

And I think that's pretty exciting.